Friday, January 7
On October 9th at around 7:20 Cassandra L. R. passed away due to trauma from a horrifying car accident. She was 21, and she as my best friend. I've known her since she was a senior in high school, we met at Sea World. She's always been the strong one. The one that helped me get through things, most importantly no matter how mad or upset she was, if I needed her, she was there. Like when I thought my mom as going to die, or even know when my dad got sick. She was there for me. Unlike a lot of my so-called-friends.
I like to think i as there for her the last months she was going through some really hard stuff. I love her so much, and everyday I think about her. I miss her incredibly. She's the first person I've lost and it pains me to think about the other people I could lose, or one day will.
I need her so much right now, and sometimes I wish I could have saved her, like actually remembered we were supposed to go somewhere for extra credit for my class that night, and forced her to come with me. Or something, and she would be here. And then at times I forget shes not here, and the pain comes all over again. It's unbearable. I really don't know how I finished school? She was everywhere. Then she wasn't. And I wished she would have been. There was so much I wanted us to do, that we were going to do. Her life was just begining to blossom back into the good she deserved. But maybe it as her time, either way. I guess I shouldn't be selfish in holding on. She hasn't visited me in my dreams since finals. Our last dream was of us getting ice cream, and maybe that as her goodbye. Maybe, she has moved on to heaven resting with her grandma and her other best friend who passed away with her that night. I just hope she knows how much I miss her, and I will write a blog to her every week now, just to let her know how lifes going, and how im doing.
I've started operation document life with my new Cannon is1400 and I plan to document everything. Hopefully. And then I've decided to write a book, one that she would like. Abouut us on the fast lane, and dedicate it to her.
Her favorite book was the five ppl you meet in heaven. She gave it to me for christmas. I feel bad for never reading it but I will, now. The last book she read was stolen by Lucy Christopher, I let her borrow it. She, hahaha, said she didn't like it, but I know she was intrigued. I was too, I knew she would enjoy it, and be angry with the ending.
Well Cass, I love you!